Time Does Not Always Heal Major Trauma

By Simpson Khoo, Clinical Psychologist, Subang Jaya Medical Centre

Of late, disasters and accidents seem to happen all too frequently, whether close to home or across the globe. From earthquakes and explosions to tragic road incidents, the constant stream of distressing news can feel overwhelming. Even if we’re not directly involved, we may still feel unusually sad, anxious or struggle with sleep. These may be signs of psychological responses to stress – and they’re more common than we might think. Trauma isn’t limited to those directly involved in a tragedy.

In fact, trauma can be triggered by:

> Personal experience of a distressing event

> Witnessing something traumatic

> A loved one being affected

> Media coverage or surroundings that stir up unresolved emotions.

For example, someone might see news footage of a car crash and suddenly feel anxious or sleepless, as it reminds him of a past traumatic experience. These emotions, if never processed, tend to resurface when least expected.

In many cases, these feelings fade after a week or two – that’s part of a normal stress response. But if symptoms persist for more than a month and start affecting work, relationships, or daily functioning, it could be a sign of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and professional help may be needed.

Simpson Khoo

Some wounds brew silently

Not all trauma manifests immediately after a traumatic event. For those who often take on the role of being “the strong one” in a crisis, emotional wounds can go unnoticed – not just by others, but by themselves. Over time, this can quietly build into emotional burnout. One of my patients, for example, experienced a total loss of her home during a recent crisis in the Klang Valley.

As the sole breadwinner of her family, she was deeply concerned about the burn injuries sustained by her parents and children. Amidst the chaos, she was preoccupied with finding temporary shelter, ensuring her children could return to school, and arranging medical treatment for her loved ones.

At one point, she began to experience overwhelming sadness and grief over the loss of her home – her life’s entire financial investment – and was referred to seek psychological support. It was only after she secured stable housing, ensured her children were back in school, and her family members were discharged from the hospital that she was able to fully acknowledge the emotional toll and trauma of the incident.

How to recognise trauma

Trauma affects us in different ways – physically, emotionally, behaviourally and cognitively. The following are some signs to watch out for:

Physical symptoms:

> Trouble sleeping (too little or too much)

> Appetite changes (loss of appetite or emotional overeating)

> Frequent headaches or stomach issues

> In children: frequent stomach aches, headaches, or repeated drawings and role-play related to the trauma.

Emotional signs: 

> Anxiety, sadness, or emotional numbness

> Tearfulness or irritability

> Sudden change of temperament.

Behavioural changes: 

> Withdrawing from social activities

> Use of alcohol, cigarettes or other substances to cope

> Avoidance of responsibilities or communication

> Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities (anhedonia)

> Changes in libido.

Cognitive symptoms

> Difficulty concentrating

> Memory gaps around the traumatic event

> Negative beliefs such as “the world is unsafe” or “I can’t protect anyone”.

If these symptoms last more than a month, it is advisable to consult a mental health professional. Don’t wait until your life is severely disrupted and you cannot function or have a total breakdown.

Does time heal all wounds?

We often hear that “time heals everything”, but in reality, time alone isn’t always enough. Healing depends on whether we’ve had the opportunity to process and release difficult emotions in a safe space.

Some people recover faster due to supportive families, personality traits, or past experiences. Others, particularly those who carry emotional weight alone, may need more structured support to heal.

In fact, when someone never gets the chance to grieve or process the trauma experience, it can be a concerning matter. This is often the case for frontline personnel or individuals who must take charge during a crisis. Their responsibilities may force them to suppress emotions, which can build up silently until triggered later.

First, reach out

If something feels off, don’t ignore it. It is okay if you are not ready to speak with loved ones – what matters is recognising when to seek support.

You can call helplines like the Health Ministry’s Talian HEAL (15555) or reach out to mental health departments at public or private hospitals. Hospitals also offer mental health support to patients who are admitted due to injuries from a disaster or accident.

These are safe and professional environments where you’ll be heard without judgement. While online self-assessments can be informative, they cannot replace a professional diagnosis.

A clinical psychologist or psychiatrist can carry out proper assessments and design a treatment plan tailored to your needs – whether that involves therapy, emotional support, psychoeducation, or medication. The earlier the support, the better the recovery.

Being there for others

If someone you care about is struggling, you don’t need the perfect words. Sometimes, the best thing you can offer is your presence.

Avoid saying things like “just move on” or “everything happens for a reason.” Instead, try: “I’m here for you. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll listen.” or “Is there anything I can do to help?”

In many cases, what someone needs most is support with everyday tasks. Helping them return to a normal routine can be incredibly grounding.

Also, keep in mind: emotional pain doesn’t discriminate. Whether it’s men, leaders, or caregivers, anyone can be hurting beneath the surface.

The expectation that some people must always be “strong” is unrealistic – and often harmful. And for those who feel overwhelmed by distressing news or painful memories, stepping back and limiting social media consumption is a healthy and valid form of self-care.

Listen to yourself

Trauma doesn’t always cause immediate breakdowns, but that doesn’t mean it leaves us untouched. Like aftershocks, the emotional impact can appear much later.

What’s important is learning to listen – to yourself and to others – and recognising when support is needed. Healing takes time, but you don’t have to go through it alone.

With help, compassion, and patience, the path becomes easier to walk when you are not alone.

Source:
1. The Star

2. China Press